DOGma reVIEW: What every missionary to Africa needs!

Sunday, August 12, 2007

What every missionary to Africa needs!

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Missy Shepherd argues for new dogma

Is there an Evil Person?

Greater Bitching, England--'In my humble opinion,' announced Missy Shepherd, 'we should believe in a Holy Quarternity, and not in a Holy Trinity.' Missy explained, 'Logical, intellectual theology demands a fourth Person in the godhead. This is the Person of Evil.'

Nervous pinching and giggling spread throughout the hall where conference participants gathered for the Ecclesial Body of England's annual conference. Liberal theologians for years have denied the very existence of evil.

'I very humbly submit,' she continued, 'that my proposal although divinely inspired, merits further discussion.' Energetic barking and tail wagging ensued. Her Grace, Grace, Archbishop of Panterbury, had to growl for order.

You have got to be kidding!
The Americans are not expected to be keen on this proposal. It would be seen as emanating from England. Also, the cost of revising prayer books and renaming institutions dedicated to the Trinity alone could run into billions of US dollars.

'You've got to remember that bottom line thinking determines our approach to the faith,' explained the Reverend Doreen Dogtail of Cur Pye, Maine. 'The cost alone will require us not to tamper with Dogma.'

Readers will recall Dr. Missy Shepherd is Dean of Ss Pompus and Pompositas College in Barkley, Barkshire.

Plant cemetery opens in Los Angeles

'I am the Vine' facility bursts into bloom
Los Angeles, USA--Never far from cutting edge far-left religious thought, the Los Angeles ecclesial jurisdiction today authorized opening a cemetery for departed house plants and all defunct vegetation.

Spokseman Kinki Bitschin, Rectrix of St. Rotweiler's, said, 'This concept is, like, totally so California! The burial grounds lie next to our sanctuary building. We will conduct burial services using the new rites developed for this purpose.'

Miss Bitschen further explained that gay houseplants are welcome to rest in the spacious grounds of the new facility. 'And where same sex plants have been matrimonially linked, we are able to accommodate side by side burial, too. Our jurisdiction is just so totally up to speed on current trends and developments!'

She added, 'Cremation is available. There's even a plot of unhallowed ground for weed enterment. We are, like, so totally ecumenical, too. For the same fee, we will conduct burial services for house plants of any denomination, cult or creed!'

Readers will note that front-runner theological thinkers will be able to rationalize anything, providing the price is right.

From Doggingham Palace

It is with the greatest pleasure that Her Majesty announces the baptism of the Royal Kennels of corgis, black Labrador retrievers, and Stables of royal race horses and polo ponies. This includes those in active service and those in retirement in grace and favour kennels and paddocks throughout Her Majesty's Realm.

The service will be conducted by Her Grace, Grace, Archbishop of Panterbury. It will be held in the Gardens of Kennelington Palace.

Guests are asked to avoid making water against the palace garden trees.

Religous Order for Transvestites and Cross Dressers founded

IF JESUS COULD SEE US NOW Transvestia, PA - A new religious Order in the Ecclesial Body of the USA crosses boundaries thought uncrossable just a few years ago. 'We are an Order of male nuns,' said Mother Mary Blanche, founder of the Siblings of Jesus, Cross Dresser. 'We believe that cross dressing males and transvestites are capable of hearing the call and serving as sisters. If Jesus could see us now, He would be pleased!' The Order is under the nominal supervision of an EBUSA bishop based somewhere in the American Midwest...Ohio, Iowa, Idaho...one of those states. Noting that Jesus wore long, white flowing robes, the Sisters adopted a modified Dominican habit to echo their dedication to Jesus Cross Dresser. At this point, Rome and Moscow have no comment.

DOGma reVIEW

Sunday, August 12, 2007

What every missionary to Africa needs!

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Sisters should be fixed!

About Me

Only one Church

Four Persons in God, not Three!

Missy Shepherd argues for new dogma

Straight and gay house plants rest in peace

Plant cemetery opens in Los Angeles

Elizabark II, Queen and Defendrix of the Faith

From Doggingham Palace

Noted horsewoman cannot say 'Neigh'

New religous order founded!

Religous Order for Transvestites and Cross Dressers founded

Congoleezza visits India and Pakistan

Nothing is sacred

Retired bishop ordains bitches

Some of the Newly Ordained

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