Greater Bitching, England---In what some observers are calling a 'highly irregular affair', The Right Reverend Batson Belfry, Bishop of Ghanarrhea, West Africa (ret.), ordained eleven bitches. 'We are most surprised by this,' gasped Her Grace, Grace, Archbishop of Panterbury today at Lambone Palace.
Bishop Belfry, who resides in a sanitorium on the grounds of Wrotmanov House at Greater Bitching stated he was petting the animals. 'One so loves a petting zoo, wot?' he remarked as his white-coated entourage steered him back to his residence.
Nothing more might have come of this, except Gloria Boneham, fiery feminist activist happened to witness the ordination. She heralded it as a triumph for bitches. 'I am glad a bishop had the courage of his convictions! Bitchery will never more be the same!' she trilled.
It will be noted that despite agitation for female rights, no male canines were ordained.
Sheikh foams at mouthDoggibagh, Iraq---On learning the Ecclesial Body of England has ordained dogs, Sheikh Moohamid bin Beef-kayq (left) denounced honouring dogs. Furious, he spouted passages from the Cur'an. He declared a holy war (jihad) against all dog lovers. Rabid followers raged through the streets of Doggibagh screaming 'Death to American devil dogs!'
When news of the jihad reached Rome, highly placed officials commented, 'What? Again?'
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