Oxford - 'How any thinking man can stomach the idea of a physical resurrection of Jesus is beyond me,' seethed the Rev. Haughtie Chappe, Lord Snidely of Rood (photo, left). Lord Snidely, a member of Synod, continued, 'To attract new members, we must develop articles of faith that anyone can believe in.' Lord Snidely was addressing the Synod of the Ecclesial Body of England. Optional dogma
'If we are to grow in numbers we have to admit the only requirement to belong to the Ecclesial Body of England is the affirmation, "I believe." At the risk of offending anybody, we must not specify what a member has to believe in order to belong. Dogma will be optional.'
This opens the door for ordaining openly gay clergy. The EB of England has already ordained dogs to the ministry, since Lambone Palace authorized the baptism of pets and all creatures. Lord Snidely concluded, 'Our only credo shall be "I believe whatsoever has been believed by anyone at any time and in any place if I choose so to do."
Congoleezza off to Latin America
Washington, DC - Now that results of the Venezuela and Nicaragua elections are in, the White House has decided the people in Latin America need for training on how to conduct free, fair and democratic elections. 'After all,' explained Congoleezza Rice, 'the people in Venezuela and Nicaragua missed the point of free, fair and democratic elections because they elected the wrong candidates!'
Accordingly, Rice will travel to Central and South America to right the wrong perceived by Washington pundits. To demonstrate solidarity Rice will host a banquet at the US Embassy in Buenos Aires, capitol of the Argentine. 'We will serve a wonderful Tex-Mex dinner to our brothers and sisters in the Argentine to show them we are aware of our responsibilities to our foreign relations,' Rice added.
Chefs from the Texas White House in Joan Crawford, TX will provide recipes for Texas style chili, beans and rice, enchiladas, tacos, tamales and taco salad. The White House takes pleasure in announcing they are even sending Texas beef to ensure the best possible food will be provided.
2 comments:
How true, especially the part about the optinal dogma. Tell me, are the Anglicans or Episcopalians still a Christian body?
'If we are to grow in numbers we have to admit the only requirement to belong to the Ecclesial Body of England is the affirmation, "I believe." At the risk of offending anybody, we must not specify what a member has to believe in order to belong. Dogma will be optional.'
LOL! Believe me, it'll come to that in the end.
Oh, and I love the houseplant cemetary in the sidebar! Silly me, with my compost heap. I hope I don't get arrested for desecrating a dandelion.
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