Virgin Birth? Or artificial insemination?

Mystery has to make sense.
Oxford--This week, Humbley 'Pee-Pee' Pigg-Puggsley, Dean of Dogdalen College, announced results of his research into New Testament accounts of the Virgin Birth. 'The thinking, intelligent believer today cannot accept the notion of a virgin birth,' declaimed Dr. Pigg-Puggsley (photo below). 'We liberal theologians have to present articles of belief in terms the intellect can comprehend. The faith has to be clearly logical at all levels. Mystery has to make sense.'

Dr. Pigg-Puggsley's teaching offers insight into making sense of the mysteries of the faith. He ranks with the leading divines in contemporary liberal religious thought.

How can this be since I know not a man?
Dr. Pigg-Puggsley proposes the mother of Jesus could have been artificially inseminated. 'Granted this process was probably unknown in New Testament times,' he stated, 'but it helps explain Mary's response to the messenger, "How can this be since I know not a man?" I believe this process could have been carried out accidentally,' he says. 'It is the only logical way to explain the virgin birth concept, other than considering pre-marital sex possibilities.' He concludes, 'If faith is to endure, we have to recast its tenets in terms the mind can accommodate.'

First pet dog baptised in England!

The Lady Mistabel baptised amid court ceremonial.
Greater Bitching, England--With all the glorious pageantry the rite for baptism of pets can summon forth, The Lady Mistabel von Dachs-Dogburg-Gotha was baptised by Her Grace, Grace, Archbishop of Panterbury. 'We are happy to welcome this little schnauzer into the Ecclesial Body of England,' beamed her Grace.

The Lady Mistabel (see photo) nestles in the arms of her Dogmother, The Infanta Beatriz de Belem of Spain, while her Dogfather, the Crown Prince, holds the baptismal candle.

Guests present gifts
Charles, Prince of Tails, and Nagmilla, Duchess of Horssex, represented Queen Elizabark. They brought framed photos of royal corgis. Barkatrix, Queen of the Kennelands, sent an engraved silver feeding bowl. Chao Bow-wow, Premier of China, honoured the newly-baptised with his country's highest honour. This was the Order of Pu-pi, first class, with diamond badge and sash.

President Dubyah in Washington did not attend. He was not invited, and in any case, was too busy starting up another war to be involved in social events.

Readers will recall that Lambone Palace recently authorized the baptism of pets. Leaders in contemporary religious thought are overjoyed.

Doggerel for The Lady Mistabel on the day of her baptism

I think that I shall never log
A poem lovely as a dog.
A dog that eyeth every tree
Seeking out a place to wee.
Poems are made by fools like me
But only dogs can rule to pee.

Sir Rover de Bassett, Poet laureate

Mistabel's pedigree

• Dogwic of Hwndog m. Barcca von Schnauzerberg-Strelitz
• Helmut of Hwndog m. Dogwinna von Dachs-Dogburg-Gotha
• Mistabel of Hwndog m. Dogbrecht von Dachs-Dogburg-Gotha
• The Lady Mistabel von Dachs-Dogburg-Gotha