Monday, June 25, 2007

Virgin Birth? Or artificial insemination?

Mystery has to make sense.
Oxford--This week, Humbley 'Pee-Pee' Pigg-Puggsley, Dean of Dogdalen College, announced results of his research into New Testament accounts of the Virgin Birth. 'The thinking, intelligent believer today cannot accept the notion of a virgin birth,' declaimed Dr. Pigg-Puggsley (photo below). 'We liberal theologians have to present articles of belief in terms the intellect can comprehend. The faith has to be clearly logical at all levels. Mystery has to make sense.'

Dr. Pigg-Puggsley's teaching offers insight into making sense of the mysteries of the faith. He ranks with the leading divines in contemporary liberal religious thought.

How can this be since I know not a man?
Dr. Pigg-Puggsley proposes the mother of Jesus could have been artificially inseminated. 'Granted this process was probably unknown in New Testament times,' he stated, 'but it helps explain Mary's response to the messenger, "How can this be since I know not a man?" I believe this process could have been carried out accidentally,' he says. 'It is the only logical way to explain the virgin birth concept, other than considering pre-marital sex possibilities.' He concludes, 'If faith is to endure, we have to recast its tenets in terms the mind can accommodate.'

27 comments:

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All this talk of baptizing dogs, inseminating pigs, doing godknowswhat with the Shiek of Beef-kayq, what have you. That's all fine and dandy. Do whatever you want. Only under no circumstances must you bless any of them. Yes you can bless the dog leashes, bless Congo's niqab, bless Humbley's inseminator, bless the Shiek's... umm... eyebrows. But you must not, no, no, MUST NOT bless themselves. Yes, I realize this sounds a bit dogmatic, but that's the way the milkbone crumbles. Do it, and the SPCA crumbles also. Just like that. You have been warned.

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Your suggestion has been referred to Bishop Batson Belfry for adjudication. Thanks.

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